Before the pandemic, I had practiced Taoist Tai Chi® arts for many years, but I can see clearly now that I was only surfing on it, staying on the surface of the learning and the transformation because I was afraid to go deep into my heart. The fear to dig in the pain that I had accumulated during all my childhood and my youth had made me very rigid. While reflecting on my journey and writing it down, I discovered that the desire to stay connected with our organisation was the essential thing that made me progress. This community is healing me.
I was 30 years old when I began Taoist Tai Chi® practice. Right at the beginning I felt that I had found a new family. I loved participating in retreats, but every time that a little window opened in me, and I could take a look at the deepness of Master Moy’s teachings, I was also seeing my deep suffering and it was making me afraid. My unconscious reaction was to immediately shut the window or the door… until the next time.
At the beginning of the pandemic, my husband was diagnosed with the recurrence of a cancer. We were very sad and in panic. I immediately took the decision to listen to my small inner voice that was telling me: be more engaged with the Fung Loy Kok, it’s there that you need to be. I needed support; I needed the community. As the leader of Quebec City Branch, I was invited to join the Eastern Region Board meeting every week. Another leader was reassuring me that anytime I would need to take a rest or to take more time in order to take care of me or my husband, I would be free to take some time off. But I realised that I didn’t need time off, because I discovered that helping the organisation was helping me.
This training is the source of the transformation I’m feeling. It helps me to keep a clear direction in my life to navigate through the difficulties, obstacles, and suffering.
In addition, I followed the instructions of our senior leaders eighteen months ago; I undertook an everyday routine of Taoist Tai Chi® practice in which the local, regional, and international meetings every week was included. My daily practice of foundations, regular chanting and chanting ceremonies (Lunar and Festivals) have led me to a new world. I discovered a brand-new inner force as well as a source of energy and a great stillness. All this helped me let go of everything difficult: the fear, the sadness, the anger, the pain and so on. In fact, I was really surprised to discover a great joy. The joy of living, of helping, of listening, of learning, of moving without a constant burden.
This joy and lightness were accompanied with a new clarity of mind; my brain has started to function more efficiently and more intuitively. The solutions to my everyday or professional difficulties were coming by themselves more easily. It is like I was reaching to an unconscious universe from where I could draw the solutions to my problems. Now that I am able to put my heart in what I do as well as in my training, the healing effect is multiplied a hundred times.
I wish to thank Master Moy and the FLK leaders from the bottom of my heart for their help and wisdom.
